SEX & RELATIONSHIP EXPERT
Breaking down taboos is literally Dami Olonisakin’s job. As a sex and relationship expert and fierce advocate for sex positivity, Simply Oloni (as she’s called) has created a platform that allows young women and men to discover their sexuality, safely and even anonymously. With her Ask Oloni form, visitors can inquire about sexual and relationship dilemmas from behind their computer screens. And with the British-Nigerian’s website, she’s able to create important dialogue around issues affecting young people, from abuse in its many forms to safe sex.
What’s more, and what makes Olonisakin’s impact on youth culture hard to ignore, is her presence in a field typically dominated by non-Black women. By embracing Black women’s sexuality, Olonisakin is breaking down barriers in a world that has either hyper-sexualized us or denied our sexual pleasure altogether. She is the definition of feminism and agency. Here, she switches gears from discussing sex to tell us a bit about Simply Oloni, the person.
How does one get into this field?
It was an accident. I used to blog about my relationships and dating mishaps then suddenly several other young girls would email me their dilemmas. This was practically the birth of my platform.
Is there one singular moment that made you want to stand up for African women?
The patriarchy that's enforced on many African women always makes me want to stand up for us. A wise person said that a young girls' life is not an audition to be someone’s wife. I think my line of work has inspired the youth to feel comfortable in their sexuality. Especially young African women.
What are a sex positive guru’s hobbies?
I'm a Netflix binger. I love American Horror Story. I'm not the greatest skater, but I enjoy skating with my sister and watching makeup tutorials on YouTube (lol).
What would you be if you weren’t a sex and relationship expert?
Probably a lawyer!
*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity